It's funny how time and space separate events. We say "This time last year...", "The last time I was here we stood right at this very spot...", "This is the place where we used to..." etc. Certain places and dates trigger nostalgic memories, that leads to plentiful emotions spilling over. Sometimes we acknowledge it then go back to hide in our busy daily lives. But have you paused for a moment, and really looked back and see what went right, wrong, good, badly during the times when you were happy, sad or angry?

True that its best to put the past behind, but... there may be a time where history will serve you best. It may give you a glimpse, a hint if not the answer to what you were looking for, remind you of what's most important to you, and help you sensibly make the right decisions.

Today I sat there alone(albeit only for 5 short minutes) fighting a thick haze of the past, searching memories and emotions. I wouldn't say I found a clear answer, but I definitely did see an unquestionable hint that my present self did not quite like. I don't yet have the courage to do what I know is right, but maybe some day I will. and maybe when I'm ready, my actions will be appreciated and my feelings understood. Afterall, I can't keep lying to everyone including myself.

oh courage, where art thou?