I've sacrificed a lot to come to this point, not just physically and mentally, with all the time-consuming, nerve-wrecking hurdles, I've also given up too much emotionally, to be here. Whether its the right thing, I do not know, but its probably the reason why I've been writing less. Putting things in a corner seems less of a chore, when you have actual chores to do every evening after a day of work (hours are great, I'm not complaining).

Some part of me still wishes that some things were different, I wish that I could find another sense of this stability in a parallel universe somewhere without sacrificing my emotions.

But then again, I find that as I grow up it becomes easier to listen to your head rather than your heart. Rationality gradually instilled itself in me, and after a while it just becomes as natural as writing my own name.

Today was not particularly miserable or depressing. In fact today was a good day. I was productive, had the sun on my face for 2 whole hours, did the whole therapeutic cooking thing (even though it was just scrambling up some left over on the stoves), had incredibly comforting left-over home cooked meal with the lemon grass in my freezer, which a month ago was still sitting in my actual garden in Malaysia. Today was a good day.