Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Tired, and knee-fucked.
But she gives me so much inspiration I could choreograph to her entire album.
So much better live than I can remember her on record :)
I guess things like art, music, dance.. sometimes they are good when you can relate.
After all its about being expressive.
And I like her because she sings and writes so honestly.
I miss my piano, and I hardly even touch my guitar over here, what with lugging it across the globe and spending 35quid on a shit amp
If you were falling, then I would catch you
You need a light, I'd find a match
Cuz I love the way you say good morning
And you take me the way I am
If you are chilly, here take my sweater
Your head is aching; I'll make it better
Cuz I love the way you call me baby
And you take me the way I am
I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair
Sew on patches to all you tear
Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise
And you take me the way I am
You take me the way I am
You take me the way I am
Lin crashed
@ 1:31 AM | Permalink |
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Was supposed to be doing that philo essay due, but then I got caught up philosophizing about my own little world.
Couple of things have been annoying me lately. The way things don't quite work out the way you plan it in your head. And also, disappointing people, not doing things you're meant to be doing, or you said you'd do. Because time management is so, fucking hard.
People think I blatantly whip up excuses of being ill, having injured my knee and what not. Sometimes, I too, find myself a wimp coming up with lame excuses. I can do better!!!!!!!!
Don't even realise it until you've been told in the face. Maybe it's just about less complaining, procrastinating, and whining about everything. But. Why is it not justifiable to give yourself a little time to relax, in between one of those never-ending lists of commitments.
It irritates me how some people around me are just so freaking jobless, but they get the things they need to do done. Be it last minute or not, at least they have a more promising CV than I do.
And then they comment about the non-existent purpose in my everyday business. Why ever have a passion for music and dance? When you can get away just perfectly fine without having them? Why feel the need to be sad, the want to be sad, when you give up something you indulge in, you enjoy, when you know its probably not going to give you anything else practical.
I know I'm doing crazy subjects that are just bloody sucidal, and when I just shrug and give them a nice smile, they don't know that I'm actually just panicking, knowing I wouldn't do well, knowing that it won't be because I can't do well, but that I'm not disciplined enough to lead the life I want to have.
I want everything from uni.
I want to learn about the things I'm interested in, I want to do things I'm good at, I want to make many friends, acquaintances, or maybe just happen to find a little bit more than that.
And also
I deserved my fucking part.
why
is it so difficult to give things up.
Lin crashed
@ 9:41 PM | Permalink |
Saturday, November 14, 2009
I've got mine,
Have you??
Lin crashed
@ 2:18 PM | Permalink |
like a 5 year old with candies for christmas :D
Sorry the blog is so dead. I fail to come up with any mildly amusing/entertaining every time.
Essay due in 3 days.
0 word done :)
i <3 Jazz ! :D
Lin crashed
@ 9:47 PM | Permalink |
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Yes and now we have internet in the flat, which means I am very much distracted from work (wow, it's only week 2 and i'm working), downloading the pretty much 30 odd albums, making my itunes library a 16 day loop.
The house party is tomorrow :) we'll see if i can be bothered to make bloody puddings.
I do actually enjoy the cooking - done absolutely nothing today but cooked a pot of wonderful chicken casserole, just like the ones lourdes used to make.
Just so people know I'm still alive, watching the 1 or 2 odd episodes of topgear I have left on my hard drive (THANK GOD for bittorrent now I can actually download more into my very pathetic stash)
Oops i'm meant to do something about the China trip.... in terms of journal-keeping. bah. Pictures will do- next time. Right now - WORK! (and its a Friday night, whatever happened to the Lin you used to know?)
Lin crashed
@ 12:12 AM | Permalink |
Friday, September 25, 2009
collar up sunnies on with a bluetooth headset driving a beamer.
stereotypical cock.
or the guy that i completely fell for...
good to know the dei that I know is still somewhere in there
LOL jeremy clarkson. who isn't watching topgear nowadays?
Lin crashed
@ 6:33 PM | Permalink |
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Sometimes it gets a little too frustrating, dilemmas that I could never speak of to a soul, plainly because it's not anyone's problem to deal with, not even mine.
To be fair, I don't really have a say, I never have. Either ways, I lose. What's the point of planning strategy to a losing battle?
I've been stalling for a while now, plainly just sucking it up and covering oneboth eyes, counting down the days I would have to go by dodging those questionings and interrogation. I guess my best bet is just to keep my distance for as long as I can.
From that, I just feel exhausted, having no one relevant to seek advice from, plainly because I can't put the situation out in facts and words well enough to explain to someone else let alone to weigh its pros and cons. I'm just as confused as a cow staring at a nuclear explosion.
4 days till the hectic schedule starts again. Balancing social life, a career path, academic performance, physical fitness, my passions (dance and music), isn't quite as difficult and mind numbing as where I stand now.
Of course I do complain, sometimes I wish I could go on a week whine-detox and completely rid of my nagging and moodswings annoying various people.
On a brighter note,
fuck it. I don't have any bright notes to sing about melodiously today.
China photos will have to wait.
Lin crashed
@ 5:00 PM | Permalink |
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Left dimsum land today via ferry after much overdosing on siumais and never-ending shopping sprees. 
view out of the hotel room :) staring at them pretty nightlights blinking in the dark right this moment
daddy's favourite shop. lol vip discount wtf
guai leng gou
$$$$$$$
and eggtarts
need to go swim the calories off..... maybe tomorrow :p
ps: when i mentioned less indulgent the last time, I really thought so. But so far trip's been nothing like workworkwork but more of eateateat stuff myself and get a massively round stomach. so much for doing something more productive for the rest of my holidays
zzzzzzz
Lin crashed
@ 2:59 PM | Permalink |
Thursday, August 27, 2009
still feeling the after-effects. >.<
1 day left to the 1 month china trip
finally something less indulgent for my summer hol
i'll miss you :)
Lin crashed
@ 6:34 PM | Permalink |
lol
Yih wei's birthday on Saturday,
and i got him Chuck Season 2
(from the pirated dvd shop)
So he can hog the tv 24-7.
I'm such an
amazing sister
Lin crashed
@ 7:08 AM | Permalink |
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
and stupid as hell.
Can't help the guilt everytime I get angry at someone who's feeling down all the time.
So I take it out on myself.
Lin crashed
@ 5:05 PM | Permalink |
Admittedly, it wasn't a very rational idea in the first place.
But since when does alcohol & rationality come hand in hand?
Yet in the end, I'm probably the biggest loser from it all
Turns out what I thought I wanted, wasn't what I
really wanted.
False hopes and disappointments aside, it's already put a toll on our friendship.
Was it worth it?
Lin crashed
@ 6:43 PM | Permalink |
SKINS
First 2 or 3 episodes were way too much nudity, sex, drugs and booze. But it grew on me after a while. definitely worthy of it's higher rating on IMDB than most American teen drama series.
Finished season1 in 2 days.
I need to get a life.
Lin crashed
@ 7:31 PM | Permalink |
Saturday, August 15, 2009
New girl of #53, Jillian
I don't know what overcame me, but it was so overwhelming and unexpected. One minute I was skipping up that 4o over steps going to that familiar house that used to be my second home, next I'm standing in a queue of a potluck party, trying not to laugh at how ridiculous that I am at the verge of sobbing.
I walked into the house and how strange is it to find a place completely different yet exactly the same at the same time? I was standing in the circular area next to what used to be the living room TV looking out into where a pond was. I thought about the days we used to have tuition in here, and watch cartoons together afterwards. Oh and also, spinning to the broken gym cycling machine. It surprised me that I could remember exactly the way it used to look like, this was the first time I've been in that house after she's moved out 3 or 4 years ago.
She didn't understand a word I was saying when I called her on the phone, squatting at the very gate I used to squat at when I was locked out of my own house. Haha, don't worry, I'm not weird. I squat by those drains to avoid the scorching sun while I was back then in my scratchy school uniform, waiting for her maid to come get the door. Anyways, it's pink now, not the familiar white anymore.
btw tert, this is ur pink gate LOL
After the supposedly potluck rukun tetangga ss19 party, I went to join aunty jackie and some Bilden friends for drinks at JayaOne. By the time I've already forgotten about my camera, obviously. But it's a nice place to chill nevertheless, and I'll make up the lack of pictures with a stolen link of review :p
here. http://www.eatnplay.com.my/?p=3344
It's only today that I found out that she and I have the same dream about UNICEF. This sort of proves that it was no mistake at all putting her down as my reference in my CV. lol. Well, then again, she's more of a godmother to us Bilden students I feel, not just a reference. Everytime during our sharing sessions we learn alot about our different perspectives in life, how we're most likely all having the same problems. Well, besides my beloved brother, we came to a conclusion that his life is empty >.< Nah, he just doesnt share well.
Anyways, I feel blessed to have such an amazing mentor and guidance that I can seek to once in a while, knowing she'll always have a way to make you see the other side of a situation, and the bigger picture of life.
I have yet to find a balance with my logical and emotional self, but I think this is just a phase that everybody goes through. I think so far I'm doing well though, cuz at the end of the day, I can still spit out a string of positive thoughts before I go to sleep.
Even so, I feel sorry for friends who seem to be drowning in their own problems sometimes, I feel helpless that I can't make a difference by saying things and trying to explain how inspiration changed the way I think about stuff, making them feel the way I do. And aunty jackie's passion is one huge chunk of inspiration. Bilden helped me through alot of that soul searching business, how to be free and creative, take life one step at a time, and try not to be overwhelmed by the magnitude of it. (Only we didn't really notice it when we were like 7)
Like haiming said, Life's too short, so live it!
Lin crashed
@ 6:13 PM | Permalink |
daddy's favourite shop. lol vip discount wtf
guai leng gou
$$$$$$$
btw tert, this is ur pink gate LOL
